It's been 2 years....

Wow! October is certainly an exciting month around here!!!!

2 years ago today, we welcomed K into our home!!!!

In some ways it seems like yesterday...and in many others it seems like much longer than 2 years have passed...

We stayed at the Grand Tikal.... just dh and I.... we were waiting around by the phone...but no one called.... dh decided to take a walk.... a few minutes later, the phone rang.. he told me I probably wanted to come down stairs.

I walk out of my room....and yep.... screaming and crying.... sounds familiar...

I get downstairs.... and it's our son! and... He's walking!!!!! Wow!!!! He's walking!!!! He's screaming too!!!! His foster mom greets me with a huge hug....she has tears in her eyes.... I know this is sooo difficult for her... She tells me that he eats 8-10 pachas a day...and that he sleeps all night.... and that he is such a sweetheart. I tell her to come up to the room.... we all go upstairs.... every time I look at K he screams... thoughts of ..."are we doing the right thing?" keep going through my head.... someone from the facilitators office comes to the hotel and he comes up to the room also.... I take care of the paperwork with him while dh and C talk and K clings to C.... the paperwork gets done.... I really dont hear a word of it.... Thankfully I wrote down when we would be picked up for our embassy appointment.... otherwise I would not have known... the man leaves...and C says she needs to leave.... she is crying by now....as is K....and dh... and of course I am also.... She tells K that we are his momma and daddy now...and that she loves him...and that we love him. She knows she will see him again in a couple of days...but I tell her to call if she wants to.... she says she will.... dh walks her downstairs...

The minute the door shuts, K throws himself against it and begins to scream like I have never heard anyone scream before. Then it starts "mama...mama....mama..." he is screaming and throwing himself against the door.... I am bawling myself.... I cant believe we have done this... this child doesnt deserve this much grief.... I go over to him.... I try to pick him up.... he wont allow me too.... he does everything he can to get away from me....Dh comes back.... F is here....He will be staying with us for a couple of days also.... I tell dh that He needs to go get him.... I need to stay with K....

Dh brings F upstairs.... It has been 6 months since we have seen him.... he has changed so much! I'm soo happy to see him...but K is still throwing himself into the door and screaming.... so my attention gets drawn to him. Dh needs to go to the store for diapers.... we need two different sizes...and we need formula, milk, and some snacks for us.... He tells me he will be back soon....

I know he came back.... I just dont know when.... I dont remember a lot of the next couple of days.... except the screaming, the crying, the tears that I shed....F was a perfect angel.... For that I'm very grateful.... K needed every ounce of strength I had....and then some....

By the day of our USE appointment... K would let me hold him...and not scream for a little while...I'm soooo glad for that.... little by little, he began to calm down.... not totally....and nothing that was going to be fixed before we got on the plane...but every little bit was an improvement.

Our last night in the city, we had dinner with his foster family....They were sooo happy to see him.... he just clung to them.... C kept trying to get him to sit with us...but he wasnt having it....

He was asleep in C's arms when she handed him to me as she got into her taxi.... He woke up to see her waving and everyone telling him goodbye.... He screamed all that night.

Next day, we got to the airport.... he cried.... see... he hated men.... even dh.... any man that looked at him would bring screaming.... there are a lot of men at the airport.... I know a few people asked me what was wrong with him.... I just told them he was grieving... he was sad....

We got on the plane, put him in his car seat, and he fell fast asleep.... the first time he had slept in 5 days.... He slept all the way to Atlanta.... then screamed through the airport there...then slept till we got home.... He cried in the car...and cried when we got home.... I got him changed and we went to bed.

I was sooo relieved to have him home.... through all the crying, the screaming, the hitting, everything... we had met him at 6 weeks old...and here he was just shy of 15 months old.... finally home..... it had been a long process.... and I was just glad to begin the healing....

We have had our problems...and we have had our joys..... I dont regret for one moment that I'm his mom.... I love him completely. I cant wait to see what the future holds!

Eating Pappas fritas!

A little smiling starting to happen.

First night at HOME!!!!

Look how handsome!!!

The Three year old and his mega watt smile!