Wednesday, December 31, 2008
Besides not sleeping, She seems to be doing better. A lot of her facial swelling has gone down. She has an appetite, and yesterday she began to smile some and even giggled a few times. She is a little more active with her brothers...but would still rather just sit on the couch and be held. Although she did allow me to cook dinner tonight without her strapped to me.
I'm thrilled that I'm able to comfort her. I dont know what I would do if I couldnt. There have been a couple of times the past couple of nights where she did seem inconsolable...but a lot of floor walking did the trick. I'm not sure if it is pain....which I'm sure she does have....but we are treating her for it.... so, not sure if it is pain, fright, or just plain misery. It's so difficult when they dont speak and cant tell ya exactly what is wrong or what they need.
She is able to eat a few things the past two days and that is a great thing! It has to be small pieces, very soft, and she has to put it in her mouth just sooo...but she is getting some solid food. We are also continuing to give her the pediasure shakes and she seems to also enjoy them.
Thanks again for everyones prayers and support!!!!!
Hope everyone has a great, last day of 2008!
Sunday, December 28, 2008
Today a little of the swelling has gone down. I know our little girl is HUNGRY! We have been worried about her staying hydrated also so we have been offering her anything and everything we can think of. Last night she finally drank some pediasure stuff... It really helped her to sleep and she slept for almost 3 hours straight till her meds wore off.
Today at lunch, she was grabbing at everything on the table. She was able to eat a little bit of mushy scrambled eggs and a little bit of the inside of a meatball. For dinner she ate a little bit of meatloaf and a little mashed potatoes and gravy. Of course I have no ideal how much she is actually getting in her stomach. Her tongue is soo swollen that she really can't use it to move food around. So, she has to get the food far enough back to just swallow it down. She is getting a little more aggressive also. I know she is mad she doesn't feel good and she doesn't know why. She sees her brothers and they are up and playing yet she cannot. They eat, but she can't.
Her little brothers are suffering also. They have been asking and even demanding to have their dog back. They all began crying after church because they asked if we could go get Bucky out of doggie jail so he can come home.... I again explained that once a dog bites someone, the dog can live with people anymore. I was even promised by E that bucky wouldnt bite anymore.... E would make sure that he didnt..... It's not fair to those boys.... they saw their sister get bit... (well... we at least believe that E saw the attack...the others saw the aftermath)... now they have lost their dog too.... they dont understand.... they are too young.... they are also too young to understand that it will take a while for L to heal.... L has been sleeping with me...and they want to also.... of course I cant take that chance.... and it hurts them....I know it's not a physical pain...but still... it's pain to them...and it's not fair..... I know life isnt fair...but just wish my kids didnt have to learn that at such a young age....
Little L went down with a fight tonight..... she usually falls asleep shortly after her medicine.... It's a good thing...but still.... I'm sure it is scary for her...tonight she clawed at my face and hit me for a while...until she fell asleep....
Rationally.... I know that it's not my fault...but still.... I almost feel as if I deserve to be hit by her. I'm supposed to be protecting her. I was supposed to make sure she was safe..... thought she was..... I was wrong.... and our Little Lady is paying the price.
She is asleep now..... my beautiful little angel.... Just so thankful that her injuries are superficial....and that her brothers are mourning a dog...and not a sister......
I almost dont want to talk about this....but I need an outlet... and I need to be strong every where else...I havnt cried over this yet....but I want to... I'm afraid to though...
I was in my bedroom getting dressed and getting the kids clothes together yesterday morning....
I heard my dh call for me...... maybe I was taking too long.... then he yelled for me...there was panic in his voice.... I walked out into the living room to hear my Little Lady screaming her head off, and blood just gushing out of her face.... Dh told me "the F$*$ing dog bit her face!" That he did........ Dh was gonna drive her to the hospital....but I took the towel off and looked at my beautiful baby girl with her mauled face.... and I called 911.
Not only was I talking to the 911 operator...but E was crying that Bucky our former dog had bit L...and he was scared...and Bucky needed to go to jail...and I need to stop her blood...and that L was hurt....
How many ways can my heart really break???
The ambulance came...we loaded L into her car seat and sped off to the hospital.....
It was surreal.... I just saw blood gushing out of her face.... I just tried everything I could do to comfort her......How do you comfort someone like that though??? She's screaming, I'm doing everything I can do to calm her, and I have to answer 100 questions...plus... trying to get someone to watch the boys so dh could be up there with us.....
We finally make it to the ER.... get checked in, get wheeled into the peds er.... and into our room... I finally got her out of the car seat... and just held her.... I wanted to just hold her and pray that it would take away the pain.....my beautiful baby girl.....
The docs finally came in to look at her.... it seemed like hours...but I know it wasnt.... they accessed the damage.... Our fucking dog......he mauled my baby girl..... he tore her face apart.....
One of his teeth went into and through her nose.
Two of his teeth went through her lips...... the right side, he completely tore her lip open from the bottom of her nose through her lip.... it was in two pieces.....
The left side the tooth went in a little under her nose...and completely through her lips....
He tore her tongue completely into two parts from the frenulum to the tip.... he laid it wide open... like a forked tongue......her tiny little tongue was in two pieces....
All from the dog that we fed and loved for 6 years.....
It took two plastic surgeons.....4 other various doctors and 2 nurses to put my precious baby's face back together..... it took a little over an hour...... there was no need to count the stitches... there were way to many to bother.....
On this Friday afternoon, I had to watch them put my baby's face back together....
I keep thanking God that the beast didnt grab her throat.... my baby could have died.... who knows what will happen when a dog bites.....it could have been so much worse....but.... I just cant believe it happened in the first place.....
My beautiful, stitched up little girl is sleeping on me right now.... she couldnt sleep last night.... in 20 minutes I have to wake her up and give her some Tylenol with codeine.... otherwise, she will be inconsolable....I dont blame her... her tongue is HUGE! Her previously little lips are sticking out further than her black and blue nose.....She can hardly swallow....she cannot eat for a long time.... those stitches in her little tongue have to stay in for 3 months.... some of the facial ones will come out on the 2nd.... She just looks horrible.... it's scary.... it's sooo scary to look at her.... She is in soo much pain..and is so miserable... it's so unfair....
The dog..... well my dh called the humane society shortly after our Little Lady was stitched up.... he took him in today to be put to sleep.... I refuse to allow an animal to tear up my baby's face and still walk on this earth....it's a damn animal.... he permanently altered my baby's face..... he could have killed her.... only by the grace of God did she not get mauled to death....
The minute that animal put his teeth on my baby.....he was no longer my pet.... we have been completely betrayed.
My little precious baby cries in her sleep.... I want to take her pain away...but I know I cannot...
No one knows what she will look like when the stitches come out.... the plastic surgeon said she may need reconstruction at a later date.... it's unfair..... it's so unfair.... her pain is senseless.... her scars are senseless......
I'm so thankful that she is alive..... I've been holding onto her so tight..... I'm so scared for her....even though it is now over......
My biggest question though will never be answered.....
Hug your babies... and remember that pets are still animals....and it only takes a split second....
Monday, December 22, 2008
My blog was tagged by Kerri last week!
Here is what she had to say about me: "Holy cow! 4 amazing and cute kiddos and law school. That alone is enough. But she also blogs and is still active on forums, offering encouragement and information to other PAPs and her love and passion for Guatemala is ever apparent."
Thanks for all of the kind words Kerri! Hopefully we can meet up one day irl!
Anyways, here are the rules to receiving this award:
You have to pass it on to 5 other fabulous bloggers in a post.You have to list 5 of your fabulous addictions in the post.
You must copy and paste the rules and the instructions below in the post.
Instructions: On your post of receiving this award, make sure you include the person that gave you the award and link it back to them.
All right - here we go! My Five Biggest Addictions:
(Not necessarily in any order)
1. My computer with Internet hookup! - As Kerri said... I am on many, many forums. (Usually as PackGirl) I do blog (you are reading it!), I have a facebook addiction...and I need the Internet to do homework and such. Otherwise, I have to use the library...full of very large books... stacks, upon stacks upon stack of law books.... I thank my lucky stars every day for Lexis and Westlaw!
2. Music - Middle school until I hired into the plant at 21 I was a band geek. Started on flute, hated it... taught myself trumpet over summer break did that for 2 years... went to high school decided I didnt have the ego nor was I an A$$ so I wouldnt make a very good trumpet player (no offense to anyone...but if you do play trumpet... you know what I mean)... so, I became a French horn player. Little did I know that would change my life. I knew I had talent...but wow... I really did... I spent the summer at Interlochen the summer of my sophomore year... (got accepted to the academy also for school...but didnt want to go)... I was state ranked my junior and senior year as #2 (a friend was #1)... I studied under Louis Stout for 3 years and went to music college where I studied under Ethel Merker (first female in CSO (under 1st chair, Louis Stout). My freshmen year, I was #6th in the state of Illinois.... some personal problems happened, and a year and a half later, I was back in Michigan working on the line.... but.... I still adore music.
Music for me is the ultimate emotion. I would be one of those people who would have a "Theme Song"! My favorite music is old country music. Conway Twitty, Jack Greene, Ronnie Milsap, Kitty Wells, people like that. I also enjoy 80's rock... the kind ya wish you had a convertible to just sing it out! Oh... I'm also a karaoke addict! At least music school paid off in some way!
I miss my horn like hell....but.... if I dont have the time to put my all into it, I'm not gonna do it at all... I'm just glad that I have enough education to teach my kids.... This year, I'm going to start E and K either on violin or piano on Suzuki method. Unlucky for them, no matter what instrument they choose, their mom can play it! HA! Yes... hopefully I am an overbearing Band Booster mom here! :)
3. H2O - Surprisingly, like Kerri, I must have water with me at all times. At school I have those large lexan bottles that I continuously refill...at home, I have large insulated cups that is always near me... while writing this I have drank one dry already! I enjoy Iced Tea also...but must be fresh brewed.... when I have a migraine... pepsi is a must. Usually though... Water, Water, and more Water!
4. My Bed - I love my bed. Ok... I love any bed with a super firm mattress with a television I can see from a comfortable position. Not many know, but I have a severe back injury. I've been a chronic pain patient for longer than I care to discuss.... so.... sitting and such is very difficult for me.... so... lying down is fantastic. Even before I was hurt... I loved nothing more than just to lie in bed. It's just an awesome feeling for me.... I also crave sleep...but... since College the first time around, it's hit or miss... either I'm working 12 hour days 7 days a week and going to school while on my apprenticeship... or I have four under four and going full time to law school. Obviously, I feel that sleep is disposable.
5. My BlackBerry - Since I am so busy, It is so nice to have such a little device that does so much! I taught my parents how to text, so we can text (and usually do) all day long! I can also text my friends, text my dh, and I'm sure soon enough I can bug the heck out of my kids by texting them! Really though... I am lucky enough that I have had a cell (ok car phone) since my senior year of high school... before that... I had a Pager!!!!!!!! ;) I just love my BlackBerry though... Internet, camera, texting, email.... it's great.... I stay connected.... people can reach me... and I'm just happy with it. I have no clue how people existed without cells and email.... gosh... If I had to tell every single person things that I can just type and hit post.... ugggg...... I dont think I would be as active.... I like talking to people...but I'm also very comfortable behind the screen or on the keypad!
So... there is a little more bout me! (and surprisingly...hardly nothing bout the kids...)
Here are the 5 people I am tagging:
Donna - Donna and I (and her husband) met while we were both in Guatemala City at the Marriott. We were picking up E and she was picking up her little son E! They are 2 months apart. We had a great time together though... going to the mall...eating at Pollo Campero, having a few Gallo's. Now, we keep in touch via email and blogs...but we only live a few hours from each other...so it's just a matter of time till we get together again and get all 6 of our kids together!!!! Donna is a great mom.... she's the mom that I wish I was most of the time. Her boys do all kinds of neat things, they belong to play groups, heck, she even took her son to Tea with Santa! She's great with her boys... and she's just a great woman to know!
Super Cool One (I'm not sure if she uses her real name online) - I dont know SCO irl...but I have followed her story on a.com, SoA (which is now Adoption Threads) and now on Tao. I've admired her for her tenacity and her strength. She has adopted 3 children from the foster care system and it seems as all three of the processes had their own ups and downs. Her girls are school aged also, so it gives me some insight as to what my kids will face being part of a trans racial family. I really enjoy her blog and hearing her opinions on the forums.
Kathy - Kathy is a single mom to an absolutely adorable little guy, John Carlos. I really enjoy reading about his antics... seems he is just all personality! John Carlos sounds a lot like my guys...and it's just great to read about other little ones going through the same things... also nice to hear about another mom going through the same thing... although my hats off to Kathy for being a single mom! I think JC would have a great time playing with my crew one day!
Gwen - Gwen and I met because we both used the same crappy agency... and the same crappy facilitator. But... her little girl Mia came home relatively young and now they are getting ready to do foster-adopt! I'm so excited for them!!!!! Gwen, Jenny, and Mia live only about an hour and a half from us so we trekked up to their house this past summer.... I'm sure they are still traumatized by that! We had a great time... and I'm hoping that we can get together again when the weather in nicer and my boys dont destroy their beautiful home!
Jen - Someone else I have never really met, but have followed online on various forums. Jen lives in Canada and she adopted from the US foster system. It's interesting to hear about being a transracial family where it is more of a rare occurrence. I've also been very interested in reading about her sons' reunion with their families here in the US. I just really appreciate learning from adoptive parents who have been at this longer than I have.... and who's children have also. Thanks Jen for sending support out there... and sharing what you have learned and what you continue to learn!
So... those are my five tags!!!!!
Of course, you can tag yourself also! *hint hint*!!!!!!
Friday, December 19, 2008
Friday, December 12, 2008
According to the Patron Saint Index; here is the story of Our Lady of Guadalupe.
"Its tradition is long-standing and constant, and in sources both oral and written, Indian and Spanish, the account is unwavering.
The Blessed Virgin appeared on Saturday 9 December 1531 to a 55 year old neophyte named Juan Diego, who was hurrying down Tepeyac hill to hear Mass in Mexico City. She sent him to Bishop Zumárraga to have a temple built where she stood. She was at the same place that evening and Sunday evening to get the bishop's answer. The bishop did not immediately believed the messenger, had him cross-examined and watched, and he finally told him to ask the lady who said she was the mother of the true God for a sign. The neophyte agreed readily to ask for sign desired, and the bishop released him. Juan was occupied all Monday with Bernardino, an uncle, who was dying of fever. Indian medicine had failed, and Bernardino seemed at death's door. At daybreak on Tuesday 12 December 1531, Juan ran to nearby Saint James's convent for a priest. To avoid the apparition and the untimely message to the bishop, he slipped round where the well chapel now stands. But the Blessed Virgin crossed down to meet him and said, "What road is this thou takest son?" A tender dialogue ensued. She reassured Juan about his uncle, to whom she also briefly appeared and instantly cured. Calling herself Holy Mary of Guadalupe she told Juan to return to the bishop. He asked the sign for the sign he required. Mary told him to go to the rocks and gather roses. Juan knew it was neither the time nor the place for roses, but he went and found them. Gathering many into the lap of his tilma, a long cloak or wrapper used by Mexican Indians, he came back. The Holy Mother rearranged the roses, and told him to keep them untouched and unseen until he reached the bishop. When he met with Zumárraga, Juan offered the sign to the bishop. As he unfolded his cloak the roses, fresh and wet with dew, fell out. Juan was startled to see the bishop and his attendants kneeling before him. The life size figure of the Virgin Mother, just as Juan had described her, was glowing on the tilma. The picture was venerated, guarded in the bishop's chapel, and soon after carried in procession to the preliminary shrine.
The coarsely woven material of the tilme which bears the picture is as thin and open as poor sacking. It is made of vegetable fibre, probably maguey. It consists of two strips, about seventy inches long by eighteen wide, held together by weak stitching. The seam is visible up the middle of the figure, turning aside from the face. Painters have not understood the laying on of the colours. They have deposed that the "canvas" was not only unfit but unprepared, and they have marvelled at apparent oil, water, distemper, etc. colouring in the same figure. They are left in equal admiration by the flower-like tints and the abundant gold. They and other artists find the proportions perfect for a maiden of fifteen. The figure and the attitude are of one advancing. There is flight and rest in the eager supporting angel. The chief colours are deep gold in the rays and stars, blue green in the mantle, and rose in the flowered tunic. "
Tonight, we are going to our church's mass to celebrate this holy day.
The mass will be bilingual and most of the children will be dressed in traditional, indigenous clothing to honor the role of Juan Diego. There will be a very colorful procession to lead everyone into the church and the mass will have a lot of lively music.
Even for those who are non-Catholics it seems to be a nice glimpse into the Latin American culture.
Tuesday, December 9, 2008
2. Slept under the stars
3. Played in a band
4. Visited Hawaii
5. Watched a meteor shower
6. Given more than you can afford to charity
7. Been to Disneyland
8. Climbed a mountain
9. Held a praying mantis
10. Sang a solo
11. Bungee jumped
12. Visited Paris
13. Watched a lightning storm at sea
14. Taught yourself an art from scratch
15. Adopted a child
16. Had food poisoning
17. Walked to the top of the Statue of Liberty
18. Grown your own vegetables
19. Seen the Mona Lisa in France
20. Slept on an overnight train
21. Had a pillow fight
22. Hitch hiked
23. Taken a sick day when you’re not ill
24. Built a snow fort
25. Held a lamb
26. Gone skinny dipping
27. Run a Marathon
28. Ridden in a gondola in Venice
29. Seen a total eclipse
30. Watched a sunrise or sunset
31. Hit a home run
32. Been on a cruise
33. Seen Niagara Falls in person
34. Visited the birthplace of your ancestors
35. Seen an Amish community
37. Had enough money to be truly satisfied
38. Seen the Leaning Tower of Pisa in person
39. Gone rock climbing
40. Seen Michelangelos David
41. Sung karaoke
42. Seen Old Faithful geyser erupt
43. Bought a stranger a meal at a restaurant
44. Visited Africa
45. Walked on a beach by moonlight
46. Been transported in an ambulance
47. Had your portrait painted
48. Gone deep sea fishing
49. Seen the Sistine Chapel in person
50. Been to the top of the Eiffel Tower in Paris
51. Gone scuba diving or snorkeling
52. Kissed in the rain
53. Played in the mud
54. Gone to a drive-in theater
55. Been in a movie
56. Visited the Great Wall of China
57. Started a business
58. Taken a martial arts class
59. Visited Russia
60. Served at a soup kitchen
61. Sold Girl Scout Cookies
62. Gone whale watching
63. Got flowers for no reason
64. Donated blood, platelets or plasma
65. Gone sky diving
66. Visited a Nazi Concentration Camp
67. Bounced a check
68. Flown in a helicopter
69. Saved a favorite childhood toy (my CBK)
70. Visited the Lincoln Memorial
71. Eaten Caviar
72. Pieced a quilt
73. Stood in Times Square
74. Toured the Everglades
75. Been fired from a job
76. Seen the Changing of the Guards in London
77. Broken a bone
78. Been on a speeding motorcycle
79. Seen the Grand Canyon in person
80. Published a book
81. Visited the Vatican
82. Bought a brand new car
84. Had your picture in the newspaper
85. Read the entire Bible
86. Visited the White House
87. Killed and prepared an animal for eating
88. Had chickenpox
89. Saved someone’s life
90. Sat on a jury
91. Met someone famous
93. Lost a loved one
94. Had a baby
95. Seen the Alamo in person
96. Swam in the Great Salt Lake
97. Been involved in a law suit
98. Owned a cell phone
99. Been stung by a bee
100. Read an entire book in one day
Sunday, December 7, 2008
Well... this was a fun weekend for all of us!
Friday, December 5, 2008